2024年6月11日发(作者：)

滑稽经典幽默句子短句英语

1. I thought I wanted a career, turns out, I just wanted a paycheck.

2. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy saving mode.

3. I'm not clumsy, I'm just coordinating my actions with gravity.

4. Marriage is like a workshop, the husband works and the wife shops.

5. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

6. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for

me.

7. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

8. I'm on a whiskey diet, I've lost three days already.

9. The future is uncertain, but I can always rely on my bad luck.

10. My house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be

happy.

11. I don't need anger management, I just need people to stop annoying

me.

12. I'm not a doctor, but I can give you a placebo if it will make you feel

better.

13. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's pretty

much the same thing.

14. I'm not addicted to chocolate, we just have a mutually beneficial

relationship.

15. Sorry, I can't go to work tomorrow because I just can't find the

motivation to pretend to be busy.

16. My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just the

comedy.

17. I'm not fat, I'm just easy to see.

18. If at first, you don't succeed, redefine success.

19. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I

forgot to do.

20. I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective layer for my rock-hard abs.